Updated: May 7
Yesterday was a difficult and challenging day, we all have them on occasion. More often than not actually what we have, is a few challenging moments within a stunningly beautiful day- but it can be hard to see that when the shit is hitting that fan and literally giving you blowback. I have challenging moments often, yesterday could have seemed like it was back to back with them but the beauty of being in the moment is that actually there were so many non-crappy moments too.
I'll bet my favourite pair of iron fist shoes, that on reflection- if you squint real hard....even your shittiest days have glimmers of hope and love and joy. The trick is being able to recognise not only those good moments but also being able to see when you are catastrophising. By the way, it's okay to see things as catastrophic, but I also know that it's really hard to stay there for too long, without a teeny slither of light shining through. So I'm giving you my little pointers, to help you realign and balance all the head exploding scary stuff easier, so you get to see those pretty moments quicker. It doesn't make the crappy moment disappear like unicorn poop, but it helps to see that moments are moments. And each one passes.
When you find yourself in a stressful/challenging/hard situation- you have a fantastic tool that is free and available at all times. It's often underrated and forgotten, but it's golden- Your breath. You have the right to choose to breathe consciously into a moment.
You have the right to stop, close those eyes, sticks your fingers in your ears and just take a purposeful deep breath.
All the way into the belly, filling you completely before blowing it out.
Try it right here and right now. Wherever you are-
Put your hands to your tummy.
Choose to take a deep and cleansing breath in through your nose.
Feel the cool air fill your nostrils.
Feel that air fill up your lungs.
Feel that belly expand.
And hold it. Just for a moment.
Now, choose to exhale.
Push that hot air out through your mouth.
Feel your lungs reduce
Your belly contract.
I need you to mean it. Try it again.
You get to choose right here and now to consciously breathe into this moment and focus on what is important.
How can you be expected to deal with difficult moments when your trousers are cutting into your belly or your shoes are tight. Notice your body, allow it to heard and felt. Know you have the choice to feel more comfortable within yourself in this difficult moment, empower yourself in those choices.
How does your body feel? Check-in with your shoulders. Are they hunched?
Choose to relax them.
Do your clothes feel tight or uncomfortable?
Choose to loosen them.
Is there tension anywhere else in your body?
Allow it to be recognised and released.
What emotions are you feeling? If you need to, close your eyes for just a moment and ask yourself 'what am I feeling.' Trust the answer. Your mind will, of course, start chatting away to itself, about why you feel that way, all the other times you felt that way, the bad things that have happened before, that led to you feeling that way. Know that it's okay for the mind to do that. It's what it does- it chats away to itself. Recognise that you at the one listening to its chatter, NOT the one speaking. Return to the feeling.
Remind yourself - 'This is what (insert emotion here) feels like in my body and mind. Okay cool. It's a feeling. It's an emotion. That's okay.'
Back in the room
What is immediately in front of you?
What NEEDS your attention right now?
What choices do you have now, that you didn't have before?
You have given yourself the best gift ever.
The opportunity to respond instead of reacting.
You can now choose where to place your focus.
You can now see options that maybe weren't there 3O seconds ago.
How will you choose to respond now that you can?
See the moment.
The difficult moment was just that. It was a moment. In taking a breath, checking in with your body and emotions, you have navigated the moment and it has passed. You are now in a new moment and that is a beautiful thing. Find something wonderful in this new moment.
What can you see? Is the sun shining, is there a smiling face in the crowd you couldn't see before. What can you hear? A song on the radio, laughter, babbling children, birdsong.
Use your senses in this new moment to find and see the time that has passed and the transition you have allowed, into a fresh experience.
Shitty moments happen. But there is always a glimmer, no matter how small, of love, joy, and beauty when we take a deep breath and allow the moments to pass because moments pass with or without you, so wouldn't it be fun, to see how many you can choose to be totally immersed in and be conscious of.
Have a bloody amazing day my friends! Be okay with the hard moments. Choose to let them be just that.
They are simply moments and each passes.