Playing small? You aren't doing yourself any favours!

Updated: May 7, 2020

For as long as I can remember I've always loved bringing people together.

Be it a party, out drinking, a meal, a cuppa, clubs or in more recent years, creating Facebook groups, organising holistic fayres, community spaces and workshops. So It wasn't a surprise when a few years back, an astrologer friend Alex, explained that I have lots of activity in the 11th house in my chart. Her words to me at the time were "Of Course!! You are all 11th house!! You have an 11th house stellium. This is communicating on a larger scale, to groups, on social media and the world at large. 5 planets placed here is huge." Now I'm not big on Astrology but it certainly made sense of a lot of my own goals and interests!

Recently I've embarked on a collaboration with one of my best friends and colleagues Rachael. We've created an online spiritual community group movement designed to, you've guessed it- bring people together to learn and grow and It's been an interesting few months for both of us. For me, our step up into this has allowed space for me to feel into what has kept me small.

Just one of the things I noticed was how despite always being a primary driver in bringing people together, I had done everything to avoid being centre stage within those things, even to the point of self-destruction of my own talks and events! I would then end up feeling resentful that my hard work wouldn't be noticed or jealous when one of the speakers I had pushed into centre stage, had rightly received the praise and uptake in work they deserved.

Interesting right!? Does it resonate for you? If you are feeling a pinch right now, trust me, I know it's a painful one to own.

Jealousy and resentment aren't feelings we 'should' have as spiritual people, or even as moralistic kind humans right? Wrong! Jeez how messed up some stuff can be! Jealousy and resentment are calls to action. They are a call within yourself that you are not in alignment with you and you get to choose whether to do the work or not. Choosing to bypass these important emotions as bad things to be avoided and instead just pretend that everything is GREAT, is frankly one of the worst things you can do to yourself. You are doing it to yourself, and causing yourself pain, but worse than that, others will end up with your shit being projected at them if you don't deal with it too! So, if I was feeling jealous and resentful of the people I was pushing into the spotlight why wasn't I standing in it myself?

Ah, the old fear of being seen! And my word does this one have many layers to it.

I've worked on this one for years and every time, a fresh layer deeper than before comes up to be looked at with interest. I say with interest because this is the approach we all need to be taking regarding uncovering limiting beliefs and conditioning. Non-judgemental observance with logic and a search for our own truth at its core. This fear of being seen tends to be a deep one for not only me, but for most people who experience this particular block, so at the end of today's blog I'll share a little trick to help you uncover a layer and clear it.

Hello Ego my BFF

For anyone who is a follower of my work, you'll know that I like to work in a fairly unique way.

And the first part of that work tends to start with asking people to stop punishing their ego-mind for doing its job. It's there to keep you upright and alive. To alert you to dangers and potential issues as they arise. The problem is, it only has your life experiences to run those risk assessments from.