Nourishing yourself through grief.

Hello, my loves! In The Conscious Collective at the moment our concept is Nourish and for my family this week, nourish is a really important thing. My husband had a family loss this week with one of his oldest friends passing away. It's been a massive shock for all of us as you can imagine. So for this week's blog, I thought I would share a little bit on grief and trauma in relation to nourish and how we can help ourselves through with our intent.

On Sunday when we found out it was obviously very very upsetting and shocking and so the first thing I want to talk about when it comes to nourishing ourselves is how important human touch is.

If you're going through grief or trauma and you don't have somebody else to provide you with human touch, or someone isn't around in those moments where you need a hug or a comforting hand, I want you to just put your hand to your heart and just notice it there. Notice your hand to your heart, while you breathe deeply, just providing yourself with that nourishment. As humans, we do regulation of emotion through human touch to ourselves all the time. Rubbing our heads when they're sore, pulling our ears, rubbing our neck, rubbing our hands together, giving ourselves a hug when we're feeling scared or unsure, rubbing our arms- it's self-regulation. I would love you to just recognise that you already have these amazing tools to provide comfort to yourself.

Part of the Nourish concept is about food. Trauma and grief affect us all in different ways and stress affect us all in different ways and for me personally when I am upset or I'm struggling or I'm experiencing grief or trauma, I really struggle to put any food into my body. For others, it may be that they need that constant food in their body not only for them to feel full and safe, but also chew therapy for having something to do with their mouths, to have something to do with their hands, to eat specific foods that will give rushes of dopamine or sugar.

These are all ways that we are able to comfort ourselves. Food can be a tool for comfort as I spoke of above but for me and others like me, it's not so instead I have to ask myself if I'm able to put some food into my body because I know that it's really important to continue to put food in my body when I am struggling. Food is a huge thing that is affected by grief and trauma and it affects people in different ways. Some people will not be able to eat, some people will need to eat and those are exactly the same thing. They are responses to trauma, to grief. Recognise that these are normal comforting behaviours, normal comforting tools.

For some of us we will be quiet and won't want to talk to other people and for others, they might want to constantly talk to other people and again both are completely normal responses to grief and trauma. As you might have noticed, there is no one right way or response. It all just is.

Something I have been doing this week that has been helping me immensely is to use my Doterra essential oils and I also made my husband up a roll on to assist him during this difficult time too. The top oils I've been using consistently this week are:

  • Console. It's like a hug in a bottle. It's so comforting and calming for my nervous system and it's really helping to allow me to sit with just being, just breathing and knowing that breathing today is enough.

  • Forgive. This is such a grounding but gentle blend. I'm using it on my solar plexus, helping me to feel less overwhelmed and feels like it gives me renewed strength.

  • Cheer. An uplifting compassionate blend. It smells like a sweet shop! I'm using it just below my collarbone and it's really helping to balance everything out for me and make me remember to breathe and remember that this moment is a moment and this moment moves into the next moment.

  • Lavender. A calming and grounding oil that I use every evening. I have this in a rollerball made up next to my bed and roll it onto the soles of my feet and onto my chest before getting into bed every evening.

The Collective is all about intentional living and intentional living is about awareness. It's about recognising the things that you're doing, so let's talk breathing. Kind of an important one because we can't be here without it and sometimes when we're hit by a wall of grief or a wall of trauma we hold our breath. We feel like we just can't function and it's really important to note that so that you can bring awareness to just focusing on it. Maybe a hand to your heart, a hand to your solar plexus and just breathing through whatever it is that is going on for you in your body right at that moment.

This isn't just advice for the loss of a loved one, grief happens in so many different ways. It's an argument with a friend or a loved one, it's losing a job, losing a home, it's your children growing up and leaving home, it's so many things. Grief is not just about death, it's about so much more so however it is that you might be experiencing grief you may be experiencing grief please know your grief is valid.

Your grief could relate to your body for example- grieving the body that you had when you were 20 and 15-20 years later it's a very different body and you just wish you could have that old one back. That can cause grief and trauma. We can't have that old body back because you have been through so much since you had that body, so much has happened to you and your body has been through that with you.

Come to a place of acceptance, come to a place of just breathing today, or to a place of just making sure that you have eaten something and drunk some water, or brushed your teeth and washed your face. Wherever you are at, that is enough.

Because Grief flows and so do you.

I want to finish off with a poem that I saw on Facebook, which really helped me to get up and go and brush my teeth and wash my face when I read it. I hope it helps you too.

If the mountain seems too big today, then climb a hill instead
If the morning brings you sadness, it's okay to stay in bed
If the day ahead weighs heavy and your plans feel like a curse
There's no shame in rearranging, don't make yourself feel worse
If a shower stings like needles and a bath feels like you're drown
If you haven't washed your hair for days, don't throw away your crown
A day is not a lifetime, rest is not defeat
Don't think of it as failure just a quiet kind retreat
It's okay to take a moment from an anxious fractured mind
The world will not stop turning, while you get realigned
The mountain will still be there when you want to climb again
So climb it in your own time and love yourself till then

If you need a hand to nourish yourself at this time, do go look at how the Conscious Collective might be able to help HERE

Massive love my friends,

Nici- Dare To Be

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