When I started writing this blog originally a few days ago, I was irritated about something and that age-old saying of 'Ignorance is bliss' popped into my head. At the time it was an insulting flippant thought because I was feeling vindictive and cruel. I meant it as an insult about other peoples inner wisdom and knowledge. After all, you can be academically smart but not too bright ya know?
We all get feelings we work hard to pretend don't exist. Jealousy, greed, anger, cruelty, judgement, vindictiveness to name but a few. After all, these sorts of feelings make us a bad person, don't they. (they don't, they make us human) So we feel them (because we are human) and then try to validate the reasons we are just and right to be feeling them and how it's different for us to be feeling them, compared to when we see those emotions in someone else.
There was a time not that long ago when I was consciously unaware of these less 'positive' qualities in myself and at the time, all that was important was for me to show the world what a kind, together, happy, positive, non-judgy, balanced person I was. Thing is, that is a complete oxymoron because you cannot become a balanced person until you begin to accept all the parts of yourself that make you who you are and yes, I'm afraid that does mean consciously recognising those less-loved parts of yourself too. If anything, it's even more important to see those less-loved parts and embrace them, accept they are a part of you and of you being the wonderful full-spectrum rainbow of humanness that you are! Bypassing this tends to come and bite you in the bum in various ways throughout life.
If you are recoiling in horror right now, I can totally appreciate. Hand on heart I have been there arguing with myself that I am a nice person. That I don't feel jealous of others or threatened or have nasty thoughts about people because I feel insecure around them. Nope, not me! Aaaaand if I do happen to feel any of those things, it's the other person's fault. It's their actions that made me feel that way.
Thing is when we are able to have the courage to accept there are parts of our psyche that we don't love so much, it means we can be better aware of them and provide ourselves with a choice in how we want to behave. Accepting and embracing those less-loved parts means that we can see them and can stop acting unconsciously from them with the often yucky results that follow.
Kids are perfect examples of ignorance being bliss
At the beginning of the blog, I mentioned ignorance is bliss in a less positive frame. Now I want to tell you what it really means to me after integrating my feelings and accepting those parts of myself. Ignorance is bliss until it's not.
Guess who are the masters of embracing themselves exactly as they are? Kids. Watch a relatively young child and you will see a child who feels the full spectrum of emotions (often in less than a minute!) with not one ounce of shame. Ignorant to the belief that some emotions are good and some are bad. Ignorant to the dogma surrounding natural human experiences and feelings. Ignorant to the strains of finances, bad news, death, fear. Ignorant in some of the best ways.
Ignorance is bliss in lots of other ways too!
Like when you are scared of spiders and you don't know that one has set up home behind your wardrobe in your bedroom.
Or when you first started your business, fresh-faced and excited, not knowing the challenges it would bring.
Or when you think your child is happily following the rules but you don't know they are sneaking out or telling fibs.
Or not watching the news. You know bad stuff happens in the world already but prefer to limit your consumption for your own mental health.
In short, sometimes not knowing stuff can definitely bring you peace and happiness but it's usually temporary and when it comes to not becoming conscious of your own less loved parts, it usually brings you suffering you didn't need to have.
Denying parts of yourself that make you human leads you to project your issues onto others, blaming, shaming and inflaming situations that are actually kind of simple.
If something happens and you feel the urge to belittle or be cruel, vindictive or feel defensive, take a deep breath and recognise it for what it really is. Recognise that you are likely feeling threatened or rejected in some way and that's okay because its human nature to feel fearful about really random stuff. The oddest things can bring out the less-loved parts in us because the mind doesn't store everything in pretty little boxes and in neat rows. Simply recognizing why we are actually feeling as we feel can often reconcile the issue and suddenly we feel no need to do anything further about it and can move on happily without any further thought.
And if like me, you experience something and feel hurt, angry and disappointed allow those feelings to be there. Allow yourself the human spectrum of emotions. Have a friend or group of friends who can be there to allow you to have a fix free, judgement-free rant of as many thoughts and emotions needed. Let those emotions be heard and accepted as a part of your experience, then take a breath and recognise it for what it really is. An opportunity to look at the lesser loved parts of you that might need a hug. For me, that was a little strand of energy left in an old belief that I am not good enough. It was that strand within me, that allowed the experience to cause me to feel hurt.
And in accepting that belief still sits within me somewhere, I can give myself choices in how to move forward. I can choose to work on clearing that old belief and return back to the blissful childlike awareness and ignorance that I am always good enough in every moment because my worth is not dictated by what I can or can't do, how big my house is, how much money I have or how many certificates adorn my wall. I used to know this inherently before experiences and people told me different so that reality still exists within me under the bullshit. (and it does for you too)
I choose to do the work of recognising and loving the parts of me that need extra love and not everyone will and that's okay. Ignorance will be bliss for them too until it's not.
Are there parts of you that you struggle to love?
Be it physical parts, emotions, thoughts, feelings Id love you to try this technique.
Imagine seeing those parts played out in a child instead.
Imagine that child embracing their full range of emotions without shame and how quickly they move on from stuff.
Imagine that child trying new things without fear of failure.
imagine that child moving their body in ways that feel good without thought or concern for how they look.
Imagine that child's random clothes choices and how they couldn't care less if it 'goes' because the expression felt good.
Imagine that child expressing how they feel, in the moment because that is what is true right then, and how quickly they feel totally fine and over it.
And then ask yourself what happened to that child for you not to be able to do the same now as the wise and knowledgable grown-up you are. Because you can still embrace all your emotions, feelings, thoughts and your beautiful physical self too and you have the beauty of balance in the adult knowledge of finding appropriate spaces and ways to work on and share that.
Ignorance is indeed bliss. It's also a double-edged sword for you to choose how to use it.
When we get conscious, amazing things can happen! There are still spaces available on the Get Conscious 1 hour Masterclass this Saturday 9th May if you fancy a dive into your mind and the characters that live there, with me! Book on HERE